Absurdities

For those that don't know, I'm an Atheist, I have tried to believe but my mind won't let me.

So, every once in awhile, I get these funny scenarios in my head. Quite embarrassing to admit, actually. Anyway, I always wonder what it would be like, if there was a God and he decided to do the whole Virgin Mary thing over again, except with someone like me...who doesn't believe. I mean, let's face it, someone who is a Christian when they get knocked up by God, really can't think much of it. But an Atheist? How ironic would it be?

I can really just picture me telling my Husband that I'm pregnant by God. I think it would go something like this:

Me: Honey, I have something to tell you.
Him: What is it?
Me: I'm pregnant.
Him: Um by who, I'm on deployment.
Me: By God
Him: What? You're an Atheist, remember?
Me: I know, I know, I was, I'm not anymore, by the way.
Him: Did you cheat on me?
Me: No, I would never do that.
Him: We are gonna have to get a DNA test.
Me: Well whose DNA do you think God used? His? Yours? Let me go call him

Ring Ring Ring!

God: Hello
Me: Whose DNA did you knock me up with?
God: What? You humans have the most absurd questions
Me: Sorry. I need to know, my Husband thinks I cheated on him.
God: Where's his faith?
Me: Um, it's 2009 God, Everyone cheats down here.
God: *SIGH* I'll call him.

Yes, I do have issues. There IS such a thing as too much spare time.