Not a Happy Blog

I think I spent about 30 minutes trying to figure out a title for a blog like this. Hell, I can't even figure out how to say what I want to say.

I've talked a bit about my Grandpa and his cancer before. He's been in the hospital about a week now. He's not doing good at all. It's hard to talk about and I can't seem to say what exactly I need to say.

I pictured Shane's homecoming to be happy & carefree. I expected him to walk off the ship and I ran into his arms and jumped up and down. Now all I feel like doing is running into his arms and having a break down. I hope I can keep myself together when he gets home. We were planning on "resting" when he came home, taking things easy, letting things fall in place. Instead, we will be leaving the city as soon as he gets home.

Every time my phone rings, I feel like someone is going to give me "the news" . I didn't expect every thing to go down hill so fast.

On top of that, while my Grandma was headed home from the hospital, someone hit her with their car. Her car is totalled and she went to the ER. I think my Aunt (who was with her) thought she had broke her leg. My nerves are shot today.

On the upside, I'm extremely grateful that every thing that could go wrong went wrong toward the END of deployment and not in the middle or beginning.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I SEE IT!!!!!

God, I'm so glad this deployment is almost over.

Jibberish

I've been really slackin on the bloggin thing lately. We are approaching the end of deployment and I'm a hair away from losing my effin mind. Still battling the creamer issue. Apparently the fridge locks do not hold up to Brianna's mastermind.

In other news, today I went out to check the mail and lo & behold guess what I seen sitting in my front yard? Well I should say front grass because I don't really have a yard. Anyway...wait for it..

SNAKE SKIN

As in, a snake had shed his skin on my grass? Oh my god. There are two things on Earth that terrify me and that is FIRE and SNAKES. Eww eww eww. Why did it have to be MY GRASS???

I need a vacation.

What Part of "No" is Hard to Understand?

I'm sure God himself would have pissed in my cornflakes this morning, if I even had any damned cornflakes to begin with.

So after wasting about $10 on coffee creamer in the past two weeks, I finally invested in a childproof cabinet/fridge lock. Only to find out they suck and I'm sure even a 10 month old child could figure that shit out. I hope Brianna doesn't. She's lactose intolerant and the one thing she wants when she opens the fridge is my coffee creamer. Tell me how she drinks the whole bottle every time? And the diapers afterwards? Yeah. Don't even think about it.

I always think of different punishments for when she does this and nothing works. I'll think it works and then a week later...BAM she hits me again. I mean seriously, she doesn't understand that Mommy needs her coffee?

Just a few more weeks and I swear I'm locking myself in the bathroom for a whole day and not coming out.

Whoops

For awhile I could not log in to blogger, it kept giving me some crazy message that I couldn't understand...something about clearing my cache, but when I read the directions on how to do it, the directions didn't make sense to me. Oh well...it's letting me back in now.

This deployment has introduced me to a whole new level of boredom. I'm so glad it's almost over...hopefully.

Oh, hey let me fill you guys in on every thing I have managed to break this past week:

My microwave has went crazy & beeps all day. I have to unplug it unless I'm using it.
My car which I posted about on the last blog entry. BTW, I have managed to narrow down the problems, it doesn't seem to be something too bad. That's good.
My digital camera (is there any other type of camera these days?) memory card reader. Yep. My kids were playing with the cord, I should have stopped them...anyway, the left it on the floor and I tripped over it while it was attached to my computer, and pulled the cord out of the reader and the little wire thingys inside broke. Nice.
Desktop monitor needs to be replaced...that broke too.
Oh and I broke a wine glass too. I know, not a big deal, but damn it, I hope I never have more than 3 people over drinking wine with me...we'll have to go all ghetto-fab on our company and drink wine out of styrofoam cups.

Ah. And things were going so well.

Give Me A Break

Because I could really use one right now.

So, I found out a couple weeks ago that my Grandpa's cancer has spread and his heart doctor said he can not go through with the surgery. They gave him 2 years. I know doctors aren't always right with these estimations but the news still hit me pretty hard. My Grandpa and my Grandma helped raise me my entire childhood. To be honest, while I am scared to lose my Grandpa, my concern is how will our family move on when it happens? There are a few people that I feel hold our family together, My Grandpa is one of them. He is a man of very few words, but when he talks everyone listens. I don't really know what else to say, it's hard to even think about.

Yesterday, my car decided it was time to finally take me to my breaking point. I admit, I have heard so many stories about how every thing goes wrong when your husbands leave for deployment and to be honest every thing has been good up until the news about my Grandpa, but thanks to my wonderful friends I got through that part.

I can't drive my car until it's fixed, I won't risk breaking down on the road with two young kids. Luckily my neighbors are cool and they know someone who has a code reader and knows a lot about cars, so he is going to come look at the car for me. And I'm also glad that I'm within walking distance of a grocery store, among several other places. If I had known my car was going to act like ass I would not have put gas in it...wtf. LOL. I still love my car though and I'm hoping it's nothing major. I bet my car is mad because it hasn't been waxed in 4 months...the longest it has ever been is a week before deployment. Sad, huh? Shane told me don't bother doing it...I think he just didn't want any men staring at me while I was doing it, but whatever, I haven't done it, lol.

Anyway, I'm still surviving. A lot of life changes coming soon and it's going to be a really hard adjustment for everyone but hopefully it will bring out the best in all of us.