Not a Happy Blog

I think I spent about 30 minutes trying to figure out a title for a blog like this. Hell, I can't even figure out how to say what I want to say.

I've talked a bit about my Grandpa and his cancer before. He's been in the hospital about a week now. He's not doing good at all. It's hard to talk about and I can't seem to say what exactly I need to say.

I pictured Shane's homecoming to be happy & carefree. I expected him to walk off the ship and I ran into his arms and jumped up and down. Now all I feel like doing is running into his arms and having a break down. I hope I can keep myself together when he gets home. We were planning on "resting" when he came home, taking things easy, letting things fall in place. Instead, we will be leaving the city as soon as he gets home.

Every time my phone rings, I feel like someone is going to give me "the news" . I didn't expect every thing to go down hill so fast.

On top of that, while my Grandma was headed home from the hospital, someone hit her with their car. Her car is totalled and she went to the ER. I think my Aunt (who was with her) thought she had broke her leg. My nerves are shot today.

On the upside, I'm extremely grateful that every thing that could go wrong went wrong toward the END of deployment and not in the middle or beginning.